My route from Uyuni, Bolivia, to Asuncion, Paraguay, may be the least efficient route ever taken. It may have been faster to walk. A four-leg flight extravaganza resulted in a twelve-hour layover in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. After some internal debate, I decided to put my backpack in a locker, leave the airport, and take a look around.

Immediately upon closing the Uber door, I was chastised for not having cash. I explained that my lack of “efectivo” was precisely the reason I used Uber instead of hailing a taxi. This did not quell the driver’s displeasure. He proceeded to air his grievances. I decided this was a classic case of “not my problem” and remained silent as he continuously spoke on the phone for the duration of the drive. He even stopped to pick up some cash from some lady halfway through the trip (presumably because I failed to provide). Nonetheless, by the end of the ride he was happily singing along to reggaeton and all seemed right in the world. I gave him two stars.

After lunch I decided to take a long walk to the main square. It appeared that pigeons were in charge of Santa Cruz. The square was teeming with the winged rats. In fact, I almost saw a contingent of birds swallow a small child whole. I thought her ignorance might be the death of her, but ultimately she managed to escape in a fit of giggles. Everyone was fine.

After escaping the dangers of the pigeons, I sat down and enjoyed the sunshine and the warmth it provides. It had been a while since I had been comfortable in only a tee shirt. Lower elevation is a wonderful thing.

I hung out in a coffee shop for the rest of the afternoon attempting to spend exactly as many Bolivianos as I had left. I managed to get successfully get it down to 70 cents. Not bad. I’m currently wandering through the Buenos Aires airport waiting for 5:05pm. After one more flight I shall hopefully find myself in Paraguay.